shattered, again and once more
by SerpentineShadows
Summary: Luffy is used to others being frustrated with his stubbornness. He finally understands their point of view when the world refuses to change, no matter how hard he tries. Post-Marineford. Sort-of canon divergent.
1. The Set-Up

**A/N:** 100% inspired by Steins;Gate and that one Supernatural episode. I don't know why I like doing this to myself bc Luffy is making this idea 1000x more difficult to execute. Short for now, but hopefully I'll write more soon.

* * *

When Luffy wakes, everything hurts. He opens his eyes to see a strange robot-looking thing beside him, the bandages wrapped around himself, and then the blood. He blinks, the image of Ace with a hole in his chest seared into his mind. Luffy can feel the weight of Ace's body, his skin growing colder with each passing second, but there's nothing in his arms.

He failed.

Luffy stares at the trees around him, tears sliding down his face. Through his blurry vision, he can see Marguerite approaching with her two friends. He stumbles away from them, but Marguerite catches up to him anyway.

He thinks she asks him what's wrong, but the only thing he can say in between broken sobs is " _Ace!_ "

Luffy feels them pulling at him, gently guiding him, and eventually carrying him away, but he doesn't try to fight back against them. There's a hole in his heart that feels like it's weighing him down instead of lightening his burden, and even crying saps all his energy.

* * *

Luffy dreams of soft hands wiping away his tears, combing through his hair — a reprieve from the nightmares where he's endlessly chasing after Ace, only for Ace to burst into flames when Luffy finally catches up.

* * *

Luffy is in a cell, naked except for his bandages, with a bunch of women staring at him. It's a very, very familiar scene from _before_ Ace's death.

"Who are you?" they ask. "What happened to you?"

It's maybe the first time since Ace's death that Luffy has felt anything outside of grief strongly. He tilts his head, looking specifically at Marguerite.

"It's Luffy. Don't you remember me, Marguerite?"

Immediately, there are a lot of arrows pointing at him, Marguerite demanding how he knows her name. When he moves, the arrows fly at him, and the one that manages to hit him _hurts_.

"This isn't a dream?" he asks himself, which seems to anger the women more.

Seeing the women ready their arrows again, Luffy decides to break out of the cell and ask questions later. Naturally, he stretches an arm out to grab Marguerite from the crowd and swings up onto the rooftops.


	2. The Build-Up

**A/N:** Been a while since I watched the Amazon Lily arc, so feel free to point out any mistakes (like, what Marguerite calls Hancock?). Also, switched up the pov a bit since writing Luffy is still so _hard_. Also also, next chapter will probably be longer + a while away + angstier and my motives for writing this will all become clear. I was tryna write some silly Caesar Clown reacting to Straw Hats thing but since that disappeared into the void, I decided to write something that will _torture my soul._

* * *

The moment the man named Luffy unhands her, Marguerite points her bow at him. His face crumbles, and Marguerite struggles to keep her bow steady. He is a _man_ , an intruder, undoubtedly up to no good. Most alarming of all, he somehow knows her name.

"How do you know my name?" she demands again.

"We're friends!" the man cries.

A lie, but Marguerite looks into his large, watery eyes and can't bring herself to call him out on it. The despair in his eyes, the painful-looking X-shaped scar she had seen on his chest earlier, his clearly frazzled state of mind all tell of the unspeakable horrors he has endured. He is a man, a possible threat to her home, but Marguerite can't help but feel sorry for him.

So, she grabs his arm, which stretches and stretches until he thinks to follow her. Her heart is burning with questions about him, about men in general, but she shoves them down. Every time she looks back at him, sees his heartbroken expression laid bare for everyone to see, she feels guilty.

He believes in the falsehood that they are friends, and witnessing the trust that he places in her makes her almost wish that they actually are, if only to alleviate some of his pain. Almost.

Marguerite leads Luffy to where she carefully placed his clothes earlier and offers them to him. His eyes widen, the haunted look in them receding a bit, and he tilts his head with childlike confusion.

"Oh, do you not like the frills?" she asks, confused by his reaction. "We just decided to add them on, since we were fixing your clothes anyway."

Finally, Luffy's face contorts in disgust. "Frills _again_?" he whines, the edge of his voice soft with sadness, as he pulls on the clothes, frowning at himself. "I told you, I don't like frills!"

More lies, but again, there's no sign of deception. She knows she should distance herself from him — he is a threat, after all — but she can't help herself.

"What do you mean, 'again'?"

He gives her a look, as if she's the stupid one, an almost wistful expression taking over as he explains to her: "The first time you guys fixed my clothes, you also added frills. I don't like them!"

If anything, Marguerite is more confused than before. "But this is the first time?"

"Did you lose your memories or something?" he asks with such conviction that Marguerite's almost convinced that she has. Again, almost, because she...hasn't. Luffy's the one who's acting weird here.

"Where's Hammock? Maybe she can…help." Luffy's voice trembles, resting precariously on the cusp of a broken sob, and the pain from before surfaces in his eyes again. He looks toward the empress's bathhouse, rubbing slightly at the bandages on his chest.

"Are you…are you talking about the Snake Princess? Her name is Boa Hancock, not _Hammock_!" Marguerite says, but Luffy's not paying attention.

"Let's go to where Hammock is," Luffy decides, pulling on Marguerite's arm.

While Marguerite reflexively corrects him, a chill runs down her spine. She's reminded that Luffy is a man, an intruder, which would greatly displease the Snake Princess. Interrupting her when she's in a good mood would be a misstep, so interrupting her while she's displeased and — now that Marguerite's paying attention, she notes — _taking a bath_ would be an unforgivable transgression. The world would choose to combust on itself before displeasing Boa Hancock in such a manner.

"We can't interrupt the Snake Princess's bath time!" Marguerite exclaims, but as she's starting to get used to, Luffy doesn't listen at all.


End file.
